We need more vulnerable leaders.
Here’s my vision for the future of business: Companies who contribute to the betterment of the whole, benefiting all their bottom-lines, proud and creative employees who love their jobs and understand the purpose of their work, supportive and engaged customers who participate in innovation, partners who are aligned based on values and mission, leaders who aren’t afraid to challenge and pivot into the uncharted and create something unusual and spectacular.
Companies cannot lay the foundation for this future without bringing their emotions to the conversation.
Strong organizational cultures and magnetic brands come down to the emotional, personal and soulful stuff — the stuff that can’t be faked, the stuff that pulls you in.
We’ve seen movements grow around the rallying cry of a small group. We’ve left 5-star Google ratings for family-owned restaurants because we’ve formed a bond with the owners. We’ve been captivated by public speakers who tell stories of their embarrassments and setbacks. We’ve worked harder in classes where teachers were engaged in our personal growth.
We’ve all experienced the pull of emotional leadership, so why don’t more of us use it?
Vulnerability is hard. It opens you up to criticism, exposure and judgment.
Building a business is challenging… to say the least. We worry we’ll fail. We worry we’ll let down the people who support us. We believe each choice, even the small ones, have the power to sink us. When we get a little momentum, we’ll do anything to keep it flowing. We worry we’ll fall behind and won’t be able to keep up with competition. We worry that the market won’t accept us. When we’re on the verge of sharing how we feel so we can ease some of the weight — we worry we’ll come off as weak. We worry we’ll be misunderstood. We worry that expressing our emotions will break the illusion of leadership, that showing our fear or confusion or indecision or stress will expose us as frauds.
Or, we worry, that in starting to share, the floodgates will open and we’ll crumble, and the people and business that we’ve worked so hard to build up, will crumble too.
In order to protect ourselves from all of this fear, we suit up. We shut down. We grin and bear it. We wear the mask of a successful and together business person in hopes that it will fool people into thinking that everything is just perfect. Cue the respect, admiration and influx of cash.
The thing is, when we keep it all to ourselves, we’re never releasing. We’re baking worry and doubt and fear into our business process. We’re shoving it deeper into the nooks and crannies, and shutting the emotional doors before any of the worry or fear or anxiety can seep out and expose us. No emotions out means no emotions in. We’re also shutting doors to connections.
So, here are our options.
Option 1 — The Armour: You play a game you’re bound to lose, bottling up the emotions and maintaining a rickety everything’s-fine facade. This option nurtures a culture of, at its least problematic, closed doors and white lies and, at the most destructive, isolation and deceit.
Option 2 — The Nudist: You choose to practice vulnerability, transparently sharing your feelings, engaging the people around you in honest conversation and collective problem-solving. This route is harder on the onset, but becomes exponentially more fruitful as you walk it. The foundation for a culture of communication and trust is laid.
Option 2 is hard because it takes courage. You are removing the layers that weigh you down, but these are also the layers you’ve worn as protection. In taking them off, you’re exposing some of your softer bits.
Just as with any skinny-dip, pulling your clothes off is the toughest part. But — once you get over the initial hurdle, what you’re left feeling is empowered and liberated. The true beauty of it is that you aren’t the only one who feels it. That freedom to be and speak honestly spreads outwards.
The greatest thing about vulnerability is that it’s contagious.
The act of vulnerability is an invitation to the people around you to step in and connect. Vulnerable leaders shrink the divide between themselves and their team. The surface conversations are no longer necessary, the pleasantries and small talk die down and what you’re left with is the real stuff — the opportunities for growth.
In leading with courage, you are making room for your team to practice their own courage: to share freely, to create freely, to challenge openly, to trust. Once the divide is bridged, the creative doors open: the team can come together in collaboration to uncover new dimensions of your business, explore new perspectives, and birth new ideas.
Shed the armour, the water is fine.
Let’s connect and get real. Email me: erin@thetapinteam. LinkedIn. Insta.
Unlock Your Team’s Creative Courage with my free ebook.
